A standing dive (of poor technique) into the murky depths of consumerism.


And why shouldn’t I? Let’s face it, half the reason the economy is so fucked is because people like me aren’t spending. I will buy a coat with a zip and trainers with no holes, a bed with no bumps, a laptop with no bugs and a guitar with no twang. This is my list and with funds to back the expedition I will begin by prioritising the articles that will improve my life on a basic human level, keeping my feet dry, body warm and ensuring myself of a good nights sleep. There are probably ways to obtain these goods at the correct price but I fear it involves extending the whole “Shopping Process”.

“Well of course it does you fool! And if you didn’t have such a problem with queue’s and weren’t quite so lazy perhaps your list wouldn’t be so vast. Oh, you can stick a hair cut and gloves on that list too.”


“Yeah, the hair blows right now.”

“but gloves always get lost.”

“Not if you don’t loose them.”


“Thank you.”

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